Can a man and a woman ever be best friends?

CAN a man and a woman ever be best friends? This is one pertinent question that keeps popping up over and over again. It was first put out perhaps for public scrutiny in When Harry Met Sally. The hugely popular hit was then followed by My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) and Hum Tum in India (a desi remake of When Harry Met Sally) in 2004.

India’s GenNow got introduced to the question with the Imran Khan-Genelia D’Souza starrer Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa (2009). This year we have Friends With Benefits claiming friendship is a four- letter word. In short, they say a man and a woman can never be friends — as for being best friends, that’s a distant dream.

Yet outside the celluloid world, relationships are far more complicated. The roles being played out in the real world are not bound by a script. Real people fail to understand what movies preach and confuse love with friendship and vice versa. Relationship experts say having a best friend from the opposite sex is one of the main reasons marriages are failing these days.

"When two people from the opposite sex get emotionally close to each other, at least one of them is bound to get attracted to the other and this can cause problems if they are married to different people,” says Dr Kamal Khurana, relationship counsellor, Purple Alley.

MY WIFE’S BEST FRIEND


EDWIN Fernandes ( name changed), a creative director with an advertising agency, is right now going through a divorce and has only himself to blame for it. His story got complicated after his best friend became his wife’s best friend: “ I used to run to my best friend for every problem in my marriage. Consequently, my wife started doing the same. Slowly she got dependant on him emotionally and then she fell in love with him.” With society opening up to having friends from the opposite sex, are we emotionally intelligent enough to handle all these relationships? Not quite, says Dr Rachna Singh, lifestyle expert, Artemis Hospital. “The real problem starts when you are married and have a best friend from the opposite sex. The definition of a best friend overlaps into the definition of a spouse. And then there is a conflict,” says Singh.

A friendship is about companionship, trust and love. And a marriage is about companionship, trust, love and sex. The Sword is the only distinguishing factor. “ In such triangular relationships jealousy creeps causing a conflict,” says Singh.


Read More:http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/can-a-man-and-a-woman-ever-be-best-friends.html

Hindi Friendship Day Shayari, Hindi Friendship Day SMS

Kabhi kabhi in ankho main nami se hoti hai 

Kabhi kabhi in honto pe hansi si hoti hai

Ae dost woh tumhi ho jisse meri zindgi, zindgi si hoti hai.

~~~~~~

Dosti woh nahi jis mein jeet ya haar ho,

Dosti koi cheez nahi jo har waqt taiyaar ho,

Dosti to woh hai jis me kisi k aane ki umeed na ho

Lekin phir bhi Uska har waqt Intezaar ho….

Can Lovers be Friends !!!

In most relationships, the time to say goodbye usually arrives at one point or another -- unless you intend to walk down the aisle, of course (and even then...). With your ex, you've shared memories that will either make you laugh or cry, and it's time to take your experiences, put them in your back pocket and move on. But somewhere on the road of parting ways couples feel the need to promise to stay friends -- which ultimately leads to more broken promises.

So, can you ever be friends with your ex? Does it have to be all-or-nothing?

One of the characteristics of a deeply bonded friendship is emotional safety 
 meaning that you have the freedom to completely be yourself and openly share about the deep down stuff of your life. With emotional safety, you can be real - no social mask required. This also means that you lack hidden agendas, and that’s where the problem comes in as former lovers attempt to be friends too soon.

The typical scenario is this: you dated, you fell in love, and you broke up.
 (We’re not talking about the kind of dating relationships that never got that deep.) Now, the person who once loved and made love to you is dating someone new, maybe even sleeping with someone new. It is almost impossible to resist the temptation to compare yourself to the new person in your ex’s life. “Why not me?” you can’t help but wonder. You haven’t yet moved on to someone you’re crazy about, so you are still feeling raw and wounded.

Your ex-lover, now “friend,” shares about a new relationship and you find yourself “coaching” him/her against it.
You find fault with the new person, fault with the way they connected, fault with just about everything. You have a hidden agenda whether you are aware of it or not: to keep your ex-lover single until you are happily in love with someone else or until he/she comes back to you. Exposing yourself to the reality that your lover has moved on is like pouring gasoline on a fire - it keeps you inflamed, prevents healing.

Here’s what works: Post break-up, don’t see one another and don’t talk on the phone until a significant time period has passed.
Give yourself time to heal from the wounds, the loss, and the disappointment. Protect yourself from further injury by removing yourself from the knowledge of your ex’s love life. Agree that you will re-evaluate and check in with one another down the road. Six months, nine months, or a year later, take inventory. If you’re feeling truly comfortable - couldn’t care less if he/she is with someone new - then see if you still want a friendship with that person.

Most of the time, people discover that they don’t. Bottom line: it’s rare for ex-lovers to become good friends, and if they do, it is only after the passage of time and with a great deal of healing. Most likely you should just move on



Views by some persons on ths topic......

I think friends can't be lovers, but lovers can be friends. I had a one friend. we were best friends. so, one day he said that he really likes me and wants to be closer. I didn't allow him. I was afraid to loose our friendship. but lovers are friends.

I think if more people were friends with their lovers it would work better. People say that they aren't looking for a friend they need a man or a woman and that is where they fall alot of times. When you are committed to someone you never want to hurt their feelings or telling something that might be best for them. When you with friends you keep it real. If a woman asks her man if she looks fat in a dress her of course says what?

NO!  When she really looks a mess

He is worried about what she might think or say! Lovers and Friends are the best thing